There is no ‘the one.’
There is no ‘The one.’ We are not looking for the one. If there is, what if he’s in Alaska? What if he speaks Russian? What if he’s not yet born? What if you missed him already when you were too busy looking at your phone, waiting for a call? How can you ever be so sure that you’ll live long enough, or that the world is small enough to meet ’The One.’
Because anyone can be the one. Instead, we are looking for just someone— someone who we think is the one and then ultimately, that person makes us forget that there are 7 billion other people in this world; that we are better off with just this single person rather than the other billions out there. You could have had relationships better than what you have now. Maybe you’ll hit it off better with that hot guy from the coffee shop last weekend. Maybe you think you’re 100% compatible with Harry Styles (and yes, you concluded that by watching all their interviews and behind the scenes footage.) But there are reasons why you stick with a certain person, and reasons as to why you stop looking at other prospects. Choosing to stick with a person is not the same as choosing a lip balm flavor in the drugstore. They’re both difficult, but humans aren’t just worth $2. And it’s also not just fate, destiny, and all that lovestruck bullshit.
When we start to accept someone more for what they are not rather than what they are, then we say to ourselves “This is it.” We get stuck with that someone— with all their flaws, habits, and imperfections. And you say to yourself: it’s okay. It is okay to wake up to the same face beside you as you turn off the daily morning alarm. It’s okay to share the same meals, laugh at the same things, cry at the same petty movies, and fight the same arguments. It’s okay to live life like a 90s sitcom with only 2 characters in it. It won’t always be a hit, and it’s going to be boring at one point, but they’re not going to shut your show down. It’s going to continue airing. The difference between Nicholas Sparks’ ‘The One’ and your someone, is a vow. It is a decision you set yourself up to.
You say to yourself that what you have now is enough. Enough for this lifetime, even when things do become repetitive. He is not ‘The One’, but you will live day by day forgetting about the other someones. He will make you stop wondering why it didn’t and wouldn’t work with just anyone. Everyday you will choose this person over everyone else, and to you, he is worth one more than all the other ‘The Ones.’